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Expert Advice on Managing Your Anger
Created By Andrea Cairella
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Every now and then we all lose our tempers, let’s face it. Some of us have a harder time controlling our tempers than others and that’s okay. Andrea Cairella, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC), knows 6 great ways to manage anger and deal with anger in your relationship when you are upset.
Although the title of the video says 5 Ways to Manage Anger, there are actually 6 ways covered in this video. Each strategy is outlined here below:
Reduce Vulnerability - Some vulnerability factors include being ill, stressed out, not eating well, using substances, not sleeping well, not getting enough exercise or feeling incompetent and out of control. All of these can lead to a having a short fuse. By reducing some, or all, of these factors, you can increase your ability to manage your anger.
Become Mindful: One way to know how to manage anger is by using your breath to slow things down. By focusing on your breath you can begin being more conscious of what you say and what you do in your interactions with others, especially your significant other or family members.
Slow Down Impulsive Reactions: Unconsciously or automatically reacting is going to make matters worse. Try counting to 5, or 10, before reacting and try to avoid saying phrases like “you always ____ and you never ____”.
Underlying Emotions: Anger can stem from a variety of underlying emotions. By getting in touch with these deeper emotions and sharing those with your partner instead, it will allow them to better understand you and address your needs more readily.
Problem Solving: Instead of blaming, yelling, criticizing, avoiding, detaching, or withdrawing, try working as a team to brainstorm solutions to the problem head on.
Seek to Understand: Since there are two of you it is vital that you are receptive to your partner's point of view. Each of you have your own point of reference, past experiences, needs, and feelings, so it’s important to try understanding where they’re coming from.
Hopefully some, if not all, of these strategies become helpful in your life. Give them a try the next few times you’re upset and see how they work for you. If this content was beneficial to you please feel free to share it so it can help someone else too.