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Community Guidelines

The Best Ways to Help

Novni aims to provide a supportive bully-free community for others. Before commenting you need to ask yourself one simple question:

“Is this comment going to be supportive, non-judgemental, and encouraging on a personal level to the author’s situation?”

The Novni Golden Rules: (Do’s and Don’ts)

Do:

  • Try your best to be supportive, non-judgemental, and encouraging on a personal level
  • Try to form a connection with the user based on their writing
  • Put yourself in the user’s shoes and try to see things from their perspective
  • Recognize what emotions the user is feeling and try to communicate with that emotion by offering your support
  • Tell the author you’re glad they were brave enough to share their story with you if you don’t know what else to say
  • Read the user’s post thoroughly and attempt to understand their point of view

Don't:

  • Make promises to the author that you can’t personally keep
  • Try to diagnose people
  • Say “well...at least…”
  • Cast judgement or bully others. Tough love will not be tolerated.
  • Use phrases such as "suicide is selfish”, "think of your loved ones", or “you have so much to live for”
  • Try to cast a silver lining around their story
  • Immediately suggest the author seeks professional help
  • Suggest ways to fix their problems or give advice

For Authors That Appear to be in Crisis

Practice active listening skills:

  • Withhold judgement
  • Reflect back what you think you’ve heard so you’re on the same page
  • Clarify and ask questions
  • Summarize what you’ve understood
  • Share your thoughts, feelings, and suggestions
  • Suggest that they check out Novni’s Helplines if you’re uncomfortable continuing the conversation

Ask any of these leading questions (courtesy of Helpguide.org):

  • "When did you begin feeling like this?"
  • "Did something happen that made you start feeling this way?"
  • "How can I best support you right now?"
  • "Have you thought about getting help?"

What you can say that helps (courtesy of Helpguide.org):

  • "You are not alone in this. I’m here for you."
  • "You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change."
  • "I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help."
  • "When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold off for just one more day, hour, minute—whatever you can manage."

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