Trying to stay calm

But it's hard for me right now. I'm feeling irritated because of the heat. I walked away from our friendship a few years ago. You hit on me while I was in a relationship and pretended you didn't. I forgave you and went out to meet up with you for an afternoon doing whatever. You didn't turn up. I have you a few days to reach out to me and explain your absence. Well, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. After I pined for you for a couple of years, I had enough and ended up with someone else. That someone you tried to get me to cheat on with you. It's something you've done for as long as I've known you. We make plans, you don't tell me you're going to be late. Sometimes you wouldn't turn up at all. I took your ice-fueled emotional abuse because I loved you. Then one day I realised you didn't care about me at all. It hurt your ego to know that someone else ended up with me because they didn't play the games that you'd play. So I walked away when you didn't even try to contact me after standing me up. I give it one last try. I haven't heard from you since the middle of the day. I know I should wait, but there's one thing you didn't realise you inflicted on me. Because of the way you'd leave me waiting for hours in the past, I can't trust that you'll contact me when you say you will. I am tempted right now to walk away for good. I really want to believe you've changed. I can't tell if it's my anxiety or if you really are just trying to make me sweat for not being around for so long. But if I don't hear from you tonight, I will walk away forever. I will not be messed around.

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