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I've got nobody left in the world when my parents die I'm on my own. Friends... bailed. Family...none of them gives me time of day everybody stopped talking after my parents were thrown out of my grandparents house stealing her checks for drugs when I came to establish my own life in another state. How'd they think they'd get by with it she always got her checks back from what I remember. I have so much PTSD from all the bullying anxiety brought on by others and abuse I've blocked out alot of things that happened. Funny how my psychotic unstable dad can remember things in detail when I can't when his mind was all fried on lsd pcp pot alcohol cocaine pain pills meth. They'd take anything to try and get a "buzz". I remember as a kid his horrible sounding yell id be afraid he'd come home from work and yell. Sometimes I'd cry hed say keep crying I'll something to cry about the crazy mother fucker. My grandma whilst she was alive tried to protect me from him as best she could. I'd want to stay all night with her when shed keep me sometimes just so I wouldn't have to go back to that hateful house. I'd start crying she'd say "let them stay" and they'd give in to her. God how I miss her. Best human being I've ever known even if she wasn't perfect she treated me so good like kids deserve. Not toxic emotional abuse like I've received from both parents. I miss those days so much. At least then I felt safe and cared for. Now. Not so much. Eventually I started... fast forward..to pay for mom and dad's mistakes and their way of living because we were all forced in together after I bailed them out of homelessness and thrown out of aunt and uncle's house not given time to find an apt after I brought them here. I've blocked out so much because I've been used abused Physical mentally and emotionally and other stuff I can't mention. I never wanted mom n dad to get dependant on me. I was establishing my life. I outright told dad don't get dependant. He just got huffy then dismissed it. I didn't remember sending them $300 while we were apart but leave it to resentful old codger of a man dad to bring up every detail under the sun and be angry with everyone for what they did to him.
How about me though? Huh? How am I supposed to feel him and her ripping me off of$ 35k my entire SAVINGS because they are and we're drug addicts. They ripped my coin collection off the wall didn't repay for cigarettes and just said "that's just an addict for you". How does he and her sleep at night knowing how theyve destroyed my life. I have no proof therefore I can't sue them for it. I won't need it when I'm dead obviously. But now I don't even know anymore. I'm angry my cousin had over 100k in a 401k and mine got drained by leeching drug addict parents who leech off the government one for 30yrs being dishonest. I didn't get a fair chance being manipulated by them. Even telling my relatives what they did they're just like "eh it's not me idc". Yeah well when bad stuff happens to them they will. I'm tempted to call and report my dad for fraud for vengeance but it'd only hurt me. I mean I gotta get even somehow. The sob takes his misery out on me and well enough is enough. It's not my fault you chose the party crook life. Now lie in your cesspool of bitterness AND misery and enjoy it . I shouldn't have to suffer because of it. It sucks feeling alone in the world. I never asked them to come here. My mom also stopped working in like 2003 so it was my check and dad's that kept them up. It took her like 14 yrs to even attempt signing up for DISABILITY but she finally did. And got it. Yet I cannot. Her fingers ankles aren't ruined like mine but her back and knees are. Ok dads was stopped for a time in awhile back so my check of $300 a week was all we had. She was like "well just have to try to make it on it" despite pill and cigarettes ADDICTIONS. Ok but when my job goes to killing me and I get hurt it's so unsafe I was gonna quit they're like "no you can't quit you don't work were sunk" you son of a b nothing was wrong with you til you actually got out of it on meds and fell in the bathroom. You said yourself that's what gave u a herniated disc.I literally have to walk up stairs one at a time. But when I'm not able to work anymore because I can't give them money for their ADDICTIONS oh no I'm the worst ever. Maybe you can see now why I feel the way I do. Writing this doesn't totally help because the man still makes my life hell. Idk I'm afraid I'll lose all sanity if the abuse from them don't stop. Or I'll get mad enough harm them or myself and it destroy the place. Idk I was always kind to people. Did I really deserve all this. I don't claim to be 100 percent innocent but I never treated them bad on purpose or stole their life savings. It's why I'm tempted to stop my dad's DISABILITY he got dishonest. It'd only hurt me though is the problem. I just want vengeance for what they've done to me. It's not counting the credit card they ran up 2at least then threw to the side. So I'm pretty sure my anger is valid. If they didn't guard their money like a bank I'd proceed to take back from them what they have from me. I need vengeance somehow.
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