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Idk. I just ask/pray that coming days ahead better. Its been a really rough time for me in life even before the pandemic began. You can't count on anybody. People bail on you. Hate you without cause. Is it any wonder people are in such a mentally messed up state? Near me someone did something really bad I won't mention. But they were depressed some people said. There's enough of that to go around. Be kind. Be gentle to each other. A lot of us deal with mental issues especially this time of year. I'm just rambling but you know what I'm saying. I miss Christmas of previous years. It was special something to look forward to. Then itd be at both grandma's. Presents both places good food . Socializing. They died it gradually declined more then more. Now it's just like another day. Not entirely I know the meaning what it symbolizes about Christ but beyond that it's just not what it used to be. Sure one friend thought of me at least. But that's mostly it. I thought since my dr is a preacher they'd say merry Christmas but nah nada. I mean heaven forbid anybody take consideration how I'm feeling unless I use a crisis line. I don't like being alone and lonely on holidays no friends to hang out with whatever. I'm still glad for all what I do have. I never thought life would turn out like this bland little joy. I miss my grandparents. They treated me best in life. Whyi mean what'd I do to become an outcast. Whatever.
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