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I guess at least I know where we stand. I mean I didn't think it was possible for a parent not to love you. But apparently they really don't. They're only the least bit friendly or interested in me when "they need something from me" (dad). I've noticed all of their treatment of me the last while. Not sure if they ever really loved me , rather they loved to use me and drugs and money. Money and drugs and his acquaintances he loves more than his own offspring. If I had the money I'd leave never speak to him again. But I can't. I'm criticized for not working called lazy WHEN HE HASNT WORKED SINCE 1990 BEYOND MAYBE 2WEEKS WHEN THEY CUT HIS FAKE DISABILITY THEN RETURNED IT. AND YOU SAY IM LAZY WHEN I HAVE PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ISSUES AND YOU JUST PLAIN FAKED IT TO DO DRUGS PARTY AND FISH.
I have memories few but some he actually was kind to me as a child. Drugs changed him and love for money. Funny when I'm not needed by him like I was today he has no interest in me. He couldn't get his way him being in drug withdrawal he was a monster went all to hell on me because I refused giving him my own medication. Is it my fault he abuses it being illegal to him and runs out what he buys in the street? No it isn't. I can't believe mom still said I started it when I did not. I told her and she just blowed when do I ever start anything? I've been humble ever since I was a kid. I don't start fights never did but maybe now I should. But then that'd sink to his level. I told her he's gonna cause me a heart attack. All she can say is I'm sorry. How mother can you being abused by him also defend him and blame me. I'd even apologize but he refuses to about anything he ever did or has done to me. Yet he raises all hell when he don't get what he wants like a big baby. Get off the fucking drugs dad . Get the hell out of my life I'm done with you. You proved how you are today no love no compassion only for your drugs dealers n money.
So fine go destroy yourself somewhere else you're near but not totally hopeless. I can't make him apologize but it's what I want so bad 😔 yet he refuses. I guess our relationship is unrepairable. You did it and proved it today dad threatening to hurt me again as 3 yrs ago. God help me get away from him. There's no repairing our relationship when he refuses to apologize for anything abusing me verbally n mentally emotionally. I don't have the money or I'd leave now asap. He's the reason I don't have it stealing my savings account and retirement. I'm done dad. Unless you attempt apology get out of my life . We're done. Any human can only take so much abuse.
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