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Just dont read this... I am letting out every worries I have in my brain so...
2 years ago · Stress
320
Here is my worries.
I am writing here so that I don't have to talk it out to my boyfriend or my best friend or my parents. If I tell them my worries, they are gonna worry about me. So, yeah...
I am almost 24, and I dont have a stable job. I am like working in restaurant and lockdown happen and no job right now. I have bills to pay, I have to also pay uni fees, this is my final semester but yes, I am literally eating nothing to pay the fees. I am fat, I am not pretty. And discrimination is everywhere. I have enough experience to work in a company. I used to work in a company before and now no one is hiring me. I applied like 50 jobs a day. and that's everyday. And my friends are so pretty. Everywhere I go, everyone compliments them. Everyone says they look like celebrities and stuff. And I am like a potato among them. they are good friends, they always support me but being with pretty friends make me feel so small. I am fat. And I am losing all motivation to lose weight I dont know why. And I had an interview with one of the biggest tech companies in the world. they approached me first, saying they are interested in me and they wanted to have interview with me. But of course, it's a worldwide big tech company and they have like 5 steps for the interview and on my 3rd, I feel like I did so bad. 4th and 5th are fine but 3rd is very bad. I feel like the guy literally scraped out all that I have in my brain. so I am not expecting them to send me a job offer. It was like literally the best thing happened in my life when that company reached out to me. But now, I feel so stupid for doing it so bad on 3rd interview. I hate myself. I am so tired. I am like 8000+ km away from my family. I haven't met them for 2 yrs. My country is not doing well politically and also covid-wise. This country I am currently living in has so much discrimination. I dont know when I will meet my family, my best friend and my boyfriend. I dont know when I will get a good job and send money back to my family. I dont know...I am stressed these days.. the more I get stressed, the more I eat. and I get fatter and fatter. and my friends be still slim and pretty. I feel so useless. I have never felt this stupid and useless in my life before. no money, no job, away from everyone I love, adulthood is hard bro. well I survived last year. and this year is almost ending so yeah...hopefully, I will survive this year too...gosh after writing all these things, I kinda feel better.
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