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I suppose this is the last day of November. It didn't go all that well. Constant fighting in the house because somebody don't know when to shut up or how to act or treat people (dad) and will turn music wide open while people are trying to sleep because they have no concept of time staying drunk on drugs. He swears next month will be different. I want to be hopeful but every month is the same. I can't believe he has no memory of our awful fights I wish I could forget. It's been a hell house. And worse because if the fact I have nowhere to retreat to away from him or mom she takes her misery he causes her out on me so I get it double. It sucks so much. Thanksgiving wasn't great but at least I had food and wasn't homeless. I haven't slept well lately either just toss and turnef last night. I'd like to believe in dad but I just don't know if he can't even try to quit smoking how's he gonna get control over his drugs? Where be caused me to throw a ceramic cup there's two places in the wall. Well I've totally had it with his b.s. he don't understand or will attempt to grasp what he puts is through deny it. Mom won't talk about it just quickly shuts me up saying I know.
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