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Sigh . I need to vent. I'm so lonely. Human contact is what I need and love. Even my dad said in better times "you live too lonely of a life". Anxiety drove that.
I didn't grow up here. Its so hard to make friends. I stopped going to a church once because I was at the main end of a pew. The preacher says "turn to the person beside you and tell them blah blah blah idk you love them something..."
I honestly don't remember what it was said. Ok me being on the end I thought surely this guy would turn my way and talk to me blah blah blah etc. NO HE DIDN'T HE LEFT ME FEELING LOW AS THE CARPET. HIM TURNING TO HIS LEFT AS I WAS ON HIS RIGHT. ALONE. I NEVER SET FOOT IN THERE AGAIN. No way not after being treated like I didn't matter. Sure my Dr invited me to hers. I might go one day if our car ever gets fixed. But just sucks feeling so isolated. I got human emotions stuff too that need met. I like my aloneness to an extent but I need also friends to associate with and im lacking that. a partner as well. Sigh. I'll be ok. God always takes care of me somehow.
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