Late night thoughts

Today was a hell of a day. First it was going to the store. I helped mom shop. Alot of people get in such a hurry they try to push a shopping up your butt like they're road runner that annoys me so much , or want you to move for them but they don't wanna move for you. Sigh.

So we comeback mom's like I hope I parked in a good enough spot

(since I had to pack almost all groceries in myself my dad's too out of it on drugs and won't help when he could've she unfortunately left them out in the open and if course he got into them)

So no she didn't park in a good spot. It was muddy as hell and I to keep walking through it at the trunk of the car.

So after that I come in accidently knock over a junked up table that's beside her bed. So we pick that up all the junk that went everywhere. Sigh ok then about 10 to 20 minutes later somehow my drunken dad falls off the couch and knocks everything on his table over and everything goes everywhere so he goes to cussing and cussing God which I can't stand to hear him do. I told him to stop saying that he just said well go to your room then . I open my door and look he's down sideways on the floor then manages to sit up. He's got a belly so he can hardly do anything . But he can't get up going on about how it put pressure on his wrist he broke. So mom has to try to help lift him up to the couch which is maybe a bit over 2 feet near 3 maybe idk.

Things settle down for a few minutes I a sensing a fight a was coming on so I turned on video on my phone to record it sure enough I got it recorded and it was bad. Mom yelled really loud at him and he went on at her plus was cussing her . When he sobers up I'm gonna make him listen to it.

A little while after it was a warm day so I went walking in my nearby nature trail. People had the same idea as me so I didn't get too much aloneness but it was better than hearing my dad's raging drunken mouth. I walked 3 plus miles which I'm not used to i think I over did it a bit. I was super tired.

I come back mom n dad are getting ready to eat. He falls back asleep. He wakes up and I'm in there he asks mom "are you gonna fix supper?" She says no. He goes you dog and other hateful mean crap. I speak and say you already eat. He says shut up I wasn't talking to you in a hateful way. That made me mad but I held my tongue and walked away. Mom says he knew she already fixed supper. No he didn't or he wouldn't said that but whatever. Then my aunt who I told a hunch of stuff to calls twice but they don't answer it. The one who ignored me. I told mom what I told her she didn't like it but I was mad that day dad called me everything bad you can imagine. So when I heard him leaving out details to her on the phone I texted her telling her the truth plus how he felt but was too cowardly to tell her. No reply. Really petty of her but she'll call over here n go wahh about everything with her.

She left a voicemail to mom sounding mad or depressed saying just called to check how you all r doing. Whatever. What a day.

And he's in there now grumbling to himself over money.

Mom went off on me before we got out of the car because I said I hope he gets caught and evicted from our new apt I'm tired of his abuse being his punching bag. She's like I can't pay the bills without him in a hateful tone. Ha. He wastes his check on drugs n cigs anyway so not much goes to bills. Idc something has to be done here with this family. His abusive behavior has to stop. Whatever I feel like he's gonna get what's coming to him somehow.

I'm done with dad. Unless he makes amends I got nothing for him. I've had more abuse a lifetime or 2 worth. You don't treat people like garbage every month cuss them yell at them then act nothing happened but he does and claims no memory of it. It's b.s.

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