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Hi,
Recently, I've dreamt about you. I don't know why from time to time these past decade I still remember you. We were still kids when I last saw you but my dream was vivid - it was us as adults. I don't even know the reason why you always come to my dream. Do we have unresolved issues? I know for a fact that I cannot get in touch with you anymore. It's been so long, it's awkward and it's like we've been strangers our whole lives. The time I've spent with you was so short yet you've been in my mind and dreams for so long. You're in the other side of the world and I know that in this lifetime, there will be only minimal chances of meeting again. But what if I meet you again? I don't know, I just feel it would be weird. You are my greatest "what-if". A lot of times I hope that we will meet again. But for what? I know it will be all too complicated.
Honestly right now, I wish you are well. I wish you are living the great life you have on the other side of the world. I wish you are thriving in your career. I hope you have a great relationship with your family and friends. I hope there is someone making you happy.
This is one of the reasons why I wouldn't want to meet you - somehow I feel I failed in life. That's how I only feel. Though I know for a fact that although I feel like a "failure", somehow I have succeeded in other things. Although progress is a bit slow, I am always thankful for progress. A lot of times, I feel lonely and I am not at my best self right now (and even in the prior years). That's why I know I couldn't meet you again.
I hope writing this letter will make me slowly forget about you. But I cannot promise that I can. From time to time, I will think if you are okay. I hope you are. I wish you all the best things in life.
I cannot deny the fact that, you coming to my dreams makes me happy. It makes my heart flutter. Sometimes I get so giddy hoping it's real. But it's not - I have to remind myself that the reality is different. I have to let it go. Somehow, someday I hope I can cope up with my loneliness. I don't want to bother you or feel bothered about me.
I wish you well.
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