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Why why is it only me that has to go through this bullshit?! Sigh.
My parents are killing me because they are miserable as hell basically projecting theirs onto me.
My dad and parents both primarily him are ruining my life. Every single day they or he mange to steal my joy and make upset/tear my nerves up because they/he are miserable as hell.
In my dads words "he'd fuvk up a wet dream ."
Problem is well todays problem is
I was mostly fine actually before this. I was chill.
My mom disturbs me so I pretend to be asleep because the walls are thin I heard what was being said. He goes crying to her about his symptoms (manipulator). As if im a Dr or something that has the cure (its because he's in drug withdrawal)
She comes to my door opens it goes "are you asleep'? Hmm nah did the lights and TV off me covered up facing the opposite direction not give you a clue? She wanted to wake me up anyway. Who cares if I was asleep.
Big surprise 😑 its about and for dad.
FOR him wanting MY MEDICATION. MOM WANTING ME TO GIVE SOME TO MY DAD.............. BECAUSE HE'S OUT. BECAUSE HES OUT BECAUSE HE TOOK/ABUSED HIS 2 WEEKS AGO IN A WILD DRUNK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He don't never learn.
The issue his face is numb not feeling well.
So sure why not ask me for my meds ... ITS NOT LIKE I TAKE THEM OR ANYTHING🤦♀️and after all I sooooooooooo wanna run out like him fml. (sarcasm).
Yeah well you'll have that upon running out suddenly stopping, yet refusing to go to the Dr all week. Now we're in a blizzard. He couldn't get to one if he wanted. All the more pressing me against the wall for his foolishness his drunk he pulled 2 weeks making me pay for it.
I feel like killing myself 🤯🔫because I can't win.
Even afterwards he starts an argument with me, unappreciative for helping him.😔🤬😠🤦♀️ I feel like throwing rocks at them both. Because im damned if I do or don't here. Im stressed and angrt because of how both acted.
Yeah well I was blowing coughing because of cigarette smoke big fkn deal what was it to him I can't stand it mom was smoking. They are raunchy.
He's like maybe you'll learn to quit buying them for her. Well she asked me to if I got out its snowing he was drinking wine smoking weed earlier. What am I supposed to do tell her no. ? I thought he was ok earlier too he was whining about thing s many years ago. Making me his free therapist cuz he is too chicken to seek his own.
Mom also well he has pity for her earlier. After a whirl wind of words dad got going about depression because mom saidy uncle is. Yes I know we all are too. She was mean hateful edgy and down today. But for dad to merely attack me verbally even after I give him when I didn't want to some of my meds I feel like if im hated that much there's not much reason for me to exist then. Their misery and tones is like someone scraping a chalkboard with fingernails. I was ok until they find ways to attack me and also deny it.
Take responsibility for your own self dad. Im no Dr or pharmacist. You're addiction is too big for anybody.
However I couldn't believe earlier when mom told him he may as well slit his wrists if he can't live sober. I never ever heard her speak that way before. He told her f u and rightly so but he says he can't live life on life's term's. She also talked about him making us a sad saying he don't care about how his actions affect other people. That's true. But mom is the same in her edginess denying it. My family is toxic as toxic waste. Life isn't meant to be lived miserable everyday. That's why people kill themselves. Its only December 22nd. What did I do to deserve such emotional anguish and suffering 😭
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