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I'm different than many people because I get anxious easily. I hate all the physical features I inherited from my North European father. I cannot go on a long trip without getting motion sickness. I get super tired when sunrays hit my body, when pretty much everyone else around me can go out and have fun without having to worry about that. On sunny days I also get slight fever and headaches if I spend more than 10min outside my house. I'm tired of being and feeling fragile.
I want to control my emotions and never suffer a blackout again in the middle of submiting Uni homeworks. My mother gets on my nerves when she tells me what to do every single time at home, and how to live life. She has provoked me several anxious episodes. When I get sick she blames me for getting sick, and that's crazy. Any other kind of obstacle that appears in my life is all my fault. I don't have many friends but the closest one I have thought he could help me make my life better when I mentioned I wanted to get serious with meditation. He's a good person but is frustrating he doesn't understand that receiving gifts from him constantly is not my favourite part of being his friend. I want to get to know myself better, and he doesn't understand that in order to accomplish that I need to spend time with myself in order to grow as a human being for my own good.
I don't like his American-influenced understanding of friendship. I like being a loyal friend but I'm overwhelmed by his actions and I feel very empty when I interact with him lately.
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