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I am a horrible person, when I was younger (years ago) I used to hit my pets. It was not so horrible that they got hurt but it doesn't change the fact I did. I feel so bad, and people say that because I grown as a person and feel remorse doesn't make me a monster but what they don't understand is that it does. I am still the same person who did that. I understand that I had lots of frustration (I was like a kid) with no way to get it out but that's no excuse. That's no excuse. No excuse. No excuse. And how could I say that I feel bad whenever people do horrible things to animals? I remember my friends showed me this "try to cry" thing and it had animals getting hurt and I remember the first time I was laughing. It wasn't at the animals in pain but sometime else and that makes me a horrible person. I don't even have any healthier ways that help a ton. I keep telling strangers online horrible things. I can't tell my therapist because obviously I would be locked up in a mental asylum. Serial killers do have a habit of hurting animals when they were younger so clearly that just makes me a future one. I know I am being irrational and that I recognize I did bad things and grew out of them and feel remorse so that means I am not a horrible future serial killer and a person who did bad things and is growing. Even my pets had forgotten about it. I'm such a horrible fucking person. So horrible and so evil and evil and evil. Evil people should die. I want to bang my head against the fucking wall until it cracks open. I want to bite my arms and legs till they bleed dry. I want to just stop. Fuck and I was doing so goddamn well. So goddamn well. What happened. It seems that any progress I make is always off set. I take two steps forward and take step back.
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