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So on the subject of father's day since its being spoke about. Last year was the worst. And something I WILL NEVER FORGET. It is now forever associated with father's. That's when dad was drunk he burned a place with a cigarette into the bathroom sink counter and this place isn't ours. Because I told him you're screwing up everything as in damaging things by being drunk/spilling soda ruining the living room carpet and his actions/behavior he's like "YOU F*CKED UP EVERYTHING BY BEING BORN" .

That made me feel low as dirt. I took the dog out for his morning walk I felt low as hell. And mom even invalidates me/defends him. Goes he didn't mean it we all say things we don't mean. Oh ok so I guess he didn't mean to forcefully pin me down and beat my face in either huh before that!? Like that was a total uncontrollable accident right? Get real. I don't see that as a father. A real dad wouldn't do that to their kid. And I've never received apologies for any of it. My feelings are 100% valid idgaf what you say mother. And I don't really know how she's put up with so many years of his verbal emotional abuse. That's why I'm 75 %numb to him at least. I never deserved none of that. I'm also the black sheep of the family funny how nobody wants to talk to me. I've never done nothing to anybody in my family or distant friends either. They seem to be holding things my mom n dad did to them against me. Like any of it was my fault. How could I control them? They blamed dad for getting mom on drugs back yrs ago. Yet alot of alcoholics are in her side of our fam. Some were on drugs themselves. That's the past. But none of that's my fault. I never deserved any mistreatment I've received from you dad n don't care if it was cuz you were in drug withdrawal / psychotic state or not that's no excuse. Or drunk to say those things. Your dad never did any of that to you. That im aware of. He was minorly abusive in one thing but he never did what u did to me. Yeah so tomorrow don't mean a whole lot thanks to your doings.

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