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I'm sorry for all the words unsaid. I'm sorry if I had been too weak to fight, to find a reason to stay. I want you to know that I'm trying but I can't put the fear at bay. No matter what I do I am followed by a shadow of doubt. I might seem careless and carefree but honestly it's taking too much effort to keep myself together. I want to stay, I really want to and I'm trying hard to do so but I feel like breaking. I'm afraid of the future, afraid fo living, afraid of failure. Whenever I achieve something, I can never celebrate, all I can think of is the pressure of keeping it up. All O can think about is how long it's going to take 'til I fail and disappoint you. How can you expect so much from me, I can't even trust myself. I want to stay but I also want to go. Yet I'll try holding on for as long as I can for you.
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