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Firstly, this is not a medical issue. My head is throbbing because I'm always worrying. I just hope I read this one day and it makes more sense... yeah sure, because some thing that you wrote some months or years ago makes more sense than the moment you wrote it, right? If you like lying to yourself. I'm also so, so numb right now. I do not try anymore; I'm trying to make sense all the time, and at times I let everything out. I can't not make sense, that's silly to me... I don't wanna die. And I can't handle hitting my feet on my bed, so much less let everything out. You feel me or are you on your shallow shit right now? When will you realize there's a limitless, infinite universe out there...? Well, if someone made up those words, might as well be real, or possible. I want to give up, I want to go down and for my life to fade to a sad song. I need to understand, 'cause I don't; I don't understand with this brain connected to words and conceptions, made up by years and years of nature evolution. How I'm feeling now? Numb and with throbbing in the back of my head. I'm coping, listening to music while writing this. Death sounds quite divine by now. But I do love life, don't get me wrong; it's just sometimes, it feels like life is not worth living 'cause we die. Game over and start again. Well, you know what? In the words of Nicki Minaj, starships were meant to fly. I'm not putting effort into life anymore. I'm the ugliest fruit in the basket. Ring those echoes of hopelessness because I'm giving up on this meaningless life, whatever that statement that someone will find cringe means. It's on, remember that; this is what dreams are made of, I ain't giving up on what I once thought to be a bright future for everybody. Even though I want for all my memories to fade and make sense at the end of my life. I need to feel the sweet cold of my life ending and my blood slowing down.
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