Late night thoughts.

Just thought dumping ignore

Ok I'm just gonna say it instead of so many words. I wish my relative(s) hadn't treated me like complete garbage. It bothers me. They don't and didn't and won't apologize FOR ANY OF IT. They act like a child. In the past 6 years I've been mistreated a lot by my family and another relative.

This relative is/was just like in their

attitude and how they acted towards me: well I'll just treat you any old way because you're worthless you don't matter and I'm on my high horse BUT YOU BETTER NOT TREAT ME THAT WAY THOUGH or I'll cry and the world will stop. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you don't know how bad I'd like to or see someone else smack the p!ss out of them. Idgaf about their age. That's irrelevant . Their treatment of me was UNACCEPTABLE. Yet they would "whine" themselves because they can't handle it when others would treat them badly. It's not right.

A few examples of b s

Purposely leaving me out of a family outing saying "only got room for 2" (for my mom n dad only in their vehicle WHICH WAS A COMPLETE LIE I know because I've ridden in it once smh) then had audacity to rub it in my /everyones face on social media going "oh we had a good day". We who?!. You carelessly didn't acknowledge the fact I WAS THE ONE LEFT SITTING AT HOME 😠. I mean wtf I matter just as much as the rest of you.

Then also having the audacity to post sh!t online "anyone who has problems you should shower them with love". Funny. With my problems she showered me with sh!t treatment. She knew damn well I was abused multiple times by a family member. Not only ignored me but blocked me turned me away but acted like I deserved it too from an abusive drunk ...

and with insult to injury just laughed it up with them like being at a comedy club knowing damn well THEY PHYSICALLY HARMED ME😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠

B!tch. how the hell do they even live with themselves!? Plusgo to church. I have a right to feel how I do because I had NOWHERE ELSE TO GO AND THEY KNEW THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I'll be able to let it go one day. But when people/your family act like you're worthless it's hard to move forward. Those memories are still fairly fresh. I mean not everyones parent literally threatens to CUT YOUR FKING HEAD OFF with saucer eyes looking at you like a madman. Mine did.

One day I guess Ill have peace. I shouldn't have had to endure such sh!tty treatment from so called family. And them expect to be loved in return for it. No fking way. I can't change what happened but at least I still don't treat others like garbage for no reason. I suppose, still not excusable, they emulate their kids behavior of callousness they are a copy cat after all. I just don't need this crap keep living in my head. Yes I need a therapist but they're not cheap. I could literally sit or lie for hours on a psychiatrist couch I've have so much trauma. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Not long ago I was told to look over them or others. Then this person turns right about them and goes THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO SAY THAT!!! my family has so many sides to them. No wonder I'm so crazy. Partially idk. At least I don't treat others like garbage.

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