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I have already been through it. The heartache. The rejection. The feelings that I don't matter. I've seen how it snowballs into this giant wad of insecurity and self-loathing, depression, bitterness, grief. I don't want to carry it around anymore. It's exhausting and serves no purpose but making me miserable.
I love you but I feel you detaching. It hurts but I suppose I have to be ok with that if it's what you want. And I've been through it before. I need to settle my heart, soul, and mind. And then I need to talk to you and settle this once and for all. I hope I can do it without all the tears and pain welling up. It's overwhelming and will probably just make things worse.
I am better than this silence and space between us. And I deserve more. Let's fix this so we can laugh and dream together again. -M
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