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I truly don't comprehend what the fuck is going on with me. I'm molding so much mindset wise, it's insane at this point. I can't find my freaking grip on reality, it's so weird, like for real, I don't understand what is going on inside my head. Like have I lost all ability to enjoy life? One day it all turns out grey and shadowy and the rest of the world feels detached... like seriously, I don't understand what's happening to me. I sometimes wish people were one with the world, like just "me and the world," but they gotta be so weird. They gotta be so extra. And you know what? It doesn't freaking matter, because even if all the bad people get erased from the world right now, I'm sure they would slowly find their way to be here once more, and so I'm like a person who thinks he's different, but in reality I'm not. Sick, so sick about this, like my first post was called "Sick of things." I haven't ended up in a better place, I swear I need to sleep and for it to dawn again. I have these thoughts in my head that I can't really put into words, it's like all the pain and sacrifices from people or life living before didn't even matter... there's just so much pain and sacrifice for temporary things that are going to end, and I just don't want it anymore. Existence is painful. I want to die, I said it. Death will be a sweet release. I almost can't wait for it to end for me, almost because without that word I would literally take my life right now, but I have to wait, I have to wait it out. What a big accident life on earth is, it was meant to fuck up every step of the way... there was no way of sustaining it from the beginning, we are all gonna die... of this, I assure you. My number one mistake was winning the race in a puddle of cum to live for 100 years, a lifetime of suffering. Happy and lucky me... not. One final word: ahskaskasfasfkasfafkkgasf.
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