Rant and ramble

Oh and I double APPRECIATE you all taking your fucking misery out me mainly mom because she can't handle the fucking drunk what its doing to SO SHE TURNS IT AROUND ON ME AND BLAMES ME FOR EXACTLY WHAT HE CALL HER ON. The problem here is dad. 3 days ago it wasn't like that here. I went to the store while mom's glued to the TV. She knows whats going on. I can't handle both of them acting how they are so I get called the bad guy FOR MOM BEING SHITTY TO ME!!!!!!!!! More of their typical fucked up family behavior on me. Why do you think people commit suicide for feeling hopeless with nobody to turn to. Im pretty sure my uncle did but we don't know for sure is what's said. Another a different uncle of mines woman offed herself with no explanation as to why. I come from a torn fucked up troubled family that seems like nobody really cares anything about for some unknown reason (ok mom n dad have a bad past but family shouldn't hate me for things THEY did). That's like my grandmother when she was alive. I went 500 miles plus or minus some just to see her. Walk in sit down im given a cold welcome being talked over by my uncle and cousin about "going fishing". No "how was your trip here...... Nothing. They walk out the room on me to the porch leaving inside. I didn't know err was going on. Nobody had disclosed to me that mom n das has ripped her off a year or 2 or so prior of money. Ok WHY WAS I UNBEKNOWNST TO ME GIVEN A COLD RECEPTION FOR STUFF I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT WAS DONE TO HER AND HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH!!!?? That wasn't right at all!!!! this was years ago but still that's why I was numb at my grandma's funeral. Yeah who enjoys driving 500 miles to get a 🖕? I know she's dead and later on she said she loved me but still. I got no therapist to tell this to. I always hated grandma would call later on talk to mom. NEVER asked to talk to me. I did the woman no wrong. It was my parents not me. Fml. I helped to bury her as well. I was unemotional probably from the cold treatment. I don't know why im so hated uncared for and despised in my family for. I've not done anything to them. Anyway another dumpster fire day for my mental health FML. Sure what better way to show people you love them than treat them like crap. Dad to mom like shit drunk. Mom to me to take her misery out on me. A pastor once told me I was a special person. K. If so WHY DID THEY STOP SPEAKING TO ME, NOT ANSWER MY LETTER OR PHONE CALL and the one I did through to them they were like "yeah we got your letter blah blah blah" in a don't really wanna talk to you tone. I was generally just trying to be nice. That's all just to be caring. Yeah thanks for making me feel "special" and cared for. I matter as much as the rest of you doesn't matter how you treat me. My aunt had a good field day with being like that. She'd go "gotta worry bout muh sayulf" and "block em block em hell with em not my problem" yet turn around and whine about everything affecting her to mom n dad. Then go "my Dr treated me like shit😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭"

Well one good turn deserves another don't it? you don't want mistreated dont be shitty to others then expect royalty treatment it don't work that way you get how are to others period. Sigh that's enough for now Im just tired of bullshit.

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