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Will graduate at a later year because I dropped 3 courses in college. Saddening and depressing because I kept on seeing my peers graduating some even with latin honors and I'm here just navigating my way through college, barely making it. Added to my burden is the financial capacity of my parents. They barely have money already so I'm forced to work while studying. The harder part is no one is accepting me for jobs. I'm at the lowest point of my life again. It always feels like I don't deserve to have good things in life. I am always miserable. I am always failing. I am always behind. I am always lacking. Someone is always better than me. My boyfriends always leave me and always fall out of love. I guess I'm born to fail lol. I was born to be alone. I was born to make my way through life alone cause if you would ask me if I have a solid support system or none. None. I don't have any. I am surrounded but I am not heard, cared for and loved. I don't know. All people that I meet makes me feel like I am hard to understand, I'm hard to be with, I'm hard to love. I don't know what bad things I did in life but I'm sure I don't deserve all these. I give people the most genuine love and treatment but this is what I get. Sucks to be delayed. Sucks to be dumb. Sucks to be poor. Sucks to be ugly. Sucks to live. I really am at my lowest now. I need to talk to a psychologist I think. Maybe, I will just make myself rich and die with money since money never disappoints.
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