I think I found the one.

I think I found the one. I was able to have him over today without putting on any makeup, I am never able to do this around other men. I met him on a night that I had eaten and I ate with him even while wearing a form-fitting outfit, I am not ever able to do this around other men as I have struggled with an eating disorder for years. I drew a line of sexual boundaries with him and he completely respected them, it's really hard for me to do this around other men, and they are usually not respectful. Things that would normally give me the ick just simply don't when coming from him. I laid in bed with him and we giggled and talked for hours, it was like being with a best friend. I was able to be fully myself around him even if I was weird or embarrassed. Even though we agreed just to wear comfy clothes and not get ready (I looked like a mess especially compared to the last time I saw him when I had my makeup and hair done) I looked at him and he was staring at me and said: "you're so fucking beautiful". I think I found the one. Today I sat on his lap so I could teach him how to play some guitar chords. He is so obsessed with me and I don't even have to try. I feel so special and I feel so so so loved. I don't know what I did to deserve this amazing unconditional love but I am so incredibly happy to receive and reciprocate it. Guitar, Minecraft socks, ice cream, giggling and biting and rolling around on the floor, sitting on his lap, squishing his lips and cheeks, kissing him all over his face, looking at his pretty eyes, telling secrets, and confessing things. I think I found the one.

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