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Today I watched Hannah Baker kill herself. It was senseless and made perfect sense at the same time. She had been abused and neglected. She was in pain and she wanted out. So she got out.
I am talking about the series ‘Thirteen Reasons Why.’ If you haven’t watched it yet, you should. While it is a well written, well acted, well paced and sorrowful story, this is not why you should watch it. You should watch it so you remember that life is lonely and cruel and having others in your life showing kindness is important. It can be, quite literally, a life saver.
Some people say that ‘paying lip service’ to sad things is ineffectual if not insulting. To some degree and on some matters, I agree with this. I don’t agree however that sharing who we are and how we truly feel ineffectual at all. I think if we give one other person hurting some permission with our words that we’ve been there, had that done to us or just plain survived something, we share hope. We connect and the world feels just a little bit kinder. We have just a little bit more hope. In that vane, I will share my experience with you. Today, I feel ok. This is not always the case. Some days I feel so alone I cry myself to sleep. Some days I can’t face going to work, putting on a smiling face and helping people when I don’t feel capable of even leaving my bed. Some of those ‘bad’ days, if I’m lucky, I do get up, go to work and show people all the kindness I have because it’s all I have that day. This doesn’t make me a martyr, this makes me normal…I think. I have my share of sadness. I have my share of history of physical and verbal abuse in school. I don’t think we survive life without some form of destructive influence leaving its mark. I know I’ll feel bad again and that I won’t be able to get up some mornings or face the yawning chasm of depression. Hopefully, I’ll feel ok again after that. Like today. Today is an ok day.
So, please, no likes. No smileys and no comments. Instead, please pay this forward. Tell someone about how you’re feeling. Tell someone you care. Tell someone you love them. Tell someone if you’re hurting and that today, that’s a little too much to bear. Reach out to those you think need your help. Be a little kinder. You get the gist. Go love and get loved. Share you and your story. Thank you for reading. Writing and sharing this helped today be a little bit better. And thank you Netflix and everyone involved with ‘Thirteen Reasons Why.’ You made something important.
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