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Feeling Alone? There is Hope
By Novni Community Member
Almost ten years ago I began a journey that led me through enough pain to last a lifetime. I was diagnosed with multiple mental disorders and as a result I was alienated from people at home and at school.
My grades began slipping and my friendships became strained. When I was in fifth grade I made one of my dumbest decisions and started self harming, and on January tenth of my fifth grade year I attempted suicide.
While it resulted in a failure I was put on suicide watch at school. Six months later I attempted again which resulted in hospitalization. After that things got worse, my drugs were upped so much that it hurt. I was alone because I had no friends, and I was barely passing my classes.
For three years I lived like this. I was a ghost roaming the halls, and then at the end of my freshman year of high school I snapped. I attempted suicide again and this time I nearly died.
My parents took me to another hospital where once again, my drugs were upped. But then, I met three people who changed my life. Two of them I had met before and one I met after, but all affected me so much after what I had done.
The first I had met a year before, and he is the one who talked to me before I attempted suicide that day. He didn't know I was hurting, but now that he does he is always there for me no matter what. He and I have been dating for almost a year, and every day he asks me how I'm doing. He tries to make me laugh, and if I feel sad he is there for me.
The other two I became close with in one week, one I had been friends with for two years and the other I met at the beginning of that week. They led me to God, to accept God, and be happy and comfortable with who I was.
They convinced me to stop self harming, and that I could trust again. I thank them for it every day, and now I tell people this:
It doesn't matter your gender, your religion, your race, sexual identity, or even mental health or background. If you find people that you know will be there for you at your worst, you can get through anything. Because the fact is that it is ten billion times harder to get through something alone. It takes a village. If you can't find a friend, be a friend to somebody else. Slowly but surely you'll make new friends and build the support system you deserve and need.