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When You Feel Like Nobody Cares
By Novni Community Member
I was crying on the bathroom floor, holding a razor to my wrist, shaking as I cried. All I wanted to do was end my life. I couldn't handle it anymore. I placed the blade against my skin and pushed as I sliced it. It stung and hurt; that's all I could feel. Blood started pouring out. But it wasn't enough. I bit my tongue, trying not to cry. I heard a knock on the bathroom door.
"Open this door," my mom said, with a pain in her voice that told me that she heard everything. I sat in shock as she knocked again. "Please." I couldn't get up. I didn't want to get up. My mom kept knocking until she realized that I wasn't going to open the door. "Listen," she told me.
Then my mom, someone who I thought hated me and everything I stood for, started to cry. "(My name), I love you. You're my mini me. I don't want you to hurt yourself. I need you. Your sisters need you. We all love you. We care." As she spoke, I started to cry again. But not because I was sad. Because I thought nobody cared. Because I thought that there was nobody left in this world that cared about me.
This is a message to you, the person who thinks that suicide is the only option. It's not. Please take care of yourself. I love you. There are people in your life that love you. Killing yourself will only hurt them beyond what they can only imagine. It will hurt them in ways that maybe they will become like you, depressed and suicidal. Because they feel like they should have done something to help you. Be a better friend, a better parent, a better sibling. I was and still kind of am suicidal, but I know now that hurting myself will only hurt those who love me. And I can't do that to them. I can't do that to myself.
So to you, please get help. See a counselor or a therapist. It helps to tell somebody about how you feel and they will be able to help you. Trust me. It makes all the difference.
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