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Getting Over a Breakup
Created By SoulPancake
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If you’re trying to get over a breakup, you’ve come to the right place. Regardless if someone ended things with you or if it was the other way around, breakups stink and can take a while to overcome. Rather than suck it up, SoulPancake advises that you do the opposite by allowing yourself to feel everything.
Similar to an addict going through withdrawal, Dr. Helen Fisher proved that the same regions of your brain are activated when going through a breakup. Julian Huguet, host of SoulPancake, explores 5 steps to help you through a breakup.
The first step is to get your anger out in a healthy way. Participants in this experiment were all fresh out of a breakup and were asked to express their anger by letting loose on a punching bag. If you don't have a punching bag sitting around your house, that's okay. Find a safe way to let out your anger and you'll be ready for step 2!
Step two is to use your relationship as a learning experience. Although you cannot change your past with this person, you can use the good and bad times as a learning experience. Pick 3 of the most important things you learned and write them down somewhere. It may be tough to think about now, but it's worth considering that this person was put into in your life to help you grow and prepare you for the next person you end up falling for.
This brings you to step three, which is to simply accept where you are right now. Be aware of what you're feeling and really focus on it. If you want to move on from a breakup it's vital that you do not suppress these feelings. A great way to hone in on these feelings and let them surface is through meditation.
Step four is to acknowledge the good you had in your relationship. There was clearly a reason for breaking up, but there must've been many other reasons that kept you together too. Remembering these memories will help you accept the good with the bad and move on once you're ready.
If you've made it this far, you're doing great. Step 5 is an easy one. Take some time to focus on your best qualities. Julian points out that breakups tend to leave people feeling worthless and stuck dwelling on their negative traits. You are not worthless, you have value, and it's up to you to reassert your self-worth! Jot down or simply just think about the 5 greatest things about yourself.
This experiment saw an average increase in happiness of 13%, with the biggest increase being a whopping 31%. There's proof that these strategies work and hopefully they help you get over your breakup too.