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My Parents Are Bullies
By Marie Miguel, BetterHelp
No matter what anyone says, bullying is always painful. Even if the bully is your friend, cousin, sister, brother, or even your parent. Yes, that is right, parents can be bullies too. In fact, it is even worse if your parent is bullying you. Now, this does not mean if your mom and dad are telling you that you have to go to bed at a certain time or taking away your phone or tablet for doing something wrong. I am referring to the parents who call you stupid or fat or ugly or useless or whatever else they can think of.
What Is Bullying?
A bully is a person who wants to humiliate, shame, or hurt another person just because they can. They almost always choose to bully those who are younger or smaller than they are. One in four children in the United States admit they have been bullied before. Parents are the ones you rely on to build you up and support you so when they are the ones doing the bullying, it is so much worse. Coming home from school crying about being bullied and hearing your dad say you are too dumb or ugly to have any friends or your mom say that you should not act so retarded at school is even worse than what happened at school. Here are some examples of parental bullying:
- Calling you names
- Using curse words
- Threatening you
- Yelling at you in public
- Controlling your every move
- Gender related comments
- Negative remarks about your skills
- Continually criticizing you
- Favoring one child over the other
- Telling you it would be better if you were not born
- Telling you they do not want you
- Exposure to excessive alcohol use, drugs, or violence
What Does Bullying Do?
Children who get bullied usually end up being bullies themselves. In fact, about 80% of bullies have been abused in the past, many times by their parents. This is a vicious cycle. A person is bullied in school as a child and they grow up to bully their children who turn around and bully others at school. It has to stop somewhere. Children who are bullied have lower self-esteem, trouble concentrating, anger issues, and many end up suffering from one or more mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety disorder, or panic attacks. They may also become aggressive, have eating disorders, sleeping problems, or become addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Mental or Physical Abuse
Bullying may be mental or physical but either way, if it is done by your parents, it is considered to be abuse. If you are bullied by other children or adults at school or work, you can avoid them and at least get some relief at home. But, what do you do if your bully is your parent? You cannot break up with them or avoid them by going somewhere else. Where else can you go? What you can do is tell someone. Talk to someone. Do not let it continue. Do not worry about your parent getting in trouble either. What matters is that you are being hurt and you should be able to talk to someone about it. Things will get better once you get help.
What About You?
Are you a parent who is bullying your children? Maybe you did not know you were bullying them because you were brought up that way and figured it was the right way to parent. You need to talk to someone and get some help before the cycle continues. If you continue to bully your children, they will do the same to their children and where will it stop? Maybe it is time to see a therapist. You can find someone to talk to close to you or talk to someone online if you want. It is time to stop the cycle of abuse before it gets any worse.