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The pills on your bedside table aren't for headaches. They're for you to swallow at three in the morning, when the world is quiet and no one will miss you.
They're meant to end the pain on a night when you're huddled on the bathroom floor, scratching at your temples, pulling at your hair and going insane.
Just a few and you'll be free.
In the bottle on your bedside table there is release. When you shake it you can hear the strong lull of serenity calling out to you. It speaks to the voice in your head that screams at you to swallow them all. There is the sweet sting of freedom in every handful of painkillers you shove down your throat.
And there's hope in the bland plastic taste of Advil. A stomach full of pills feels like a sad kind of relief, like saying goodbye to an old friend for the last time. There's an underlying comfort to nullify the hurt.
But there's dread and bitterness in the reality of tomorrow. Acidic guilt eats at your throat when you think about what's to come.
The sour that coats your tongue is the thought of your parents, friends, and relatives. They'll all interpret what you've done as repulsive and devastating, never knowing what calm you felt as you emptied the bottle of pills that stood on your bedside table.
It's easy for them to see your deed as desperate, and it was, but it was also more than something done in the panicked desperation of sorrow. It was a transition—a release.
It was destroying the body to free the soul.
You are going to destroy yourself, but maybe it's for the best.
Now the bottle of pills on your bedside table is empty, and so are the glassy eyes and open mouth of a body laying on the bathroom floor.
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That was beautiful, dark and honest, but very beautiful. I actually ODd and tried to kill myself less than a year ago, so I like what you have written. Please don't OD on pills, but instead continue to write about it and release constructively.
ReplyKnow exactly where you're comin' from. But unfortunately the bottle of pills didn't work for me... try something else
ReplyThat’s completely irrelevant. Are you trying to make them find other ways to kill themselves ?? VERYdisrespectful !!!
ReplyThis, this is such a dark reality that I think is beautiful. It's relatable in the mind of insane and it's just flat out amazing writing idk but good work!!
ReplyI don't really like putting suicide in a good light but I can't dismiss how beautifully crafted this was. Still, if you need want help, just ask. <3
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