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I haven’t entered this folder in awhile because it brings back memories, but at this point so much brings back memories. I listen to certain music I think about my hatred. I look at certain things and I think about the great times. It’s so confusing. I feel nothing for anyone anymore. You changed me. I don’t let anyone get that close to me anymore, but still I feel like you are still that close. I want to shut down that part of my memory, erase you from my thoughts. Erase everything that’s happened. I pray that I don’t see you before I leave because then maybe when I’m gone I can get rid of that. Move on and finally let someone into this. But, after what you did, I am afraid that once they see who I am they will run away from me. I’m not this beautiful picture that you once knew. I’m dark. Secluded. I don’t even let my athletes know me. X knows me but that because I’ve known him for awhile. Other then him though I don’t want anyone knowing this. People hit me up but I keep them away. I am trying to repair a mistake I made and it’s seeming impossible so far. You took this extreme extrovert and turned him introverted. It’s not right, I put this fake facade on for work and hope no one sees through it. But, eventually, someone will see it, and I am terrified of that day. You have broken someone that everyone once loved. You have torn a hole that may never be fixed. You have entered the mind of someone that once never let anyone get into because of the fear that this may happen. Just like a drug addict, but your drug is love. Once you get your fix you move on to the next one. The next innocent guy. Your next fix. You claim there soul and you move on. You break them and feel that your the victim. I don’t sleep because of you. But you don’t see that. You only see yourself. No one else. Your blinded.
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ReplySome people are just toxic. They are emotional vampires. It will get better with no contact.
Reply