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it feels like your heart is ripped out of your chest like there is nothing worse than never seeing that person again. “it will get easier” and “----- will be missed” and you take all these well wishes knowing that they mean well but knowing you will never be the same. That person was YOUR person and they have a piece of your heart that you will never again feel whole without. It doesn’t get easier over time because it will be a random snowy Monday and you will wake up and see their picture next to your bed or on your phone and break down because you know they would understand all your problems and sit and listen and offer advice. It will get easier to live your daily life because you will learn to live your life avoiding the fact that they are gone. Every few days you'll cry though because it is never the same and never will be. Nobody will understand that you aren’t the same and you'll share your story with others and they will think that you are sharing for sympathy but in reality, you share because you want them to understand why you are the way that you are. You walk through life and down the street carrying this grief and loss but glad that you met that person when you did and just wish you had more time to say what you felt and not take that time for granted. You live through your memories of that person, those long car rides singing the whole time, or laying in bed watching SOA and falling asleep and not moving for hours on end. I would have given you the world if you were still here. I should have been able to save you.
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