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It's been almost a year since we broke up and my ex boyfriend has been harassing me by sending me text messages and mail to my house despite me telling me MULTIPLE times on multiple occasions that I don't want him to contact me in any way. He wouldn't take no for an answer. I called him and said that I am in a relationship and I am happy and moved on so please leave me alone but he refused to take no for an answer. He kept laughing at me and refused to acknowledge that I have a boyfriend. He kept saying he's going to wait for me to change my mind.
I finally went to the police to file a complaint and the police called him and warned him not to contact me again in any way.
A week after that, he showed up to my work. I work at a public library and he showed up there to "study" when he lives an hour away and it was completely out of his way. My supervisor called the police and he was asked to leave and he was banned from coming in to the library again or else it'll be trespassing.
I finally went to court to file a restraining order because at this point, I felt unsafe and it was hindering me from doing day to day activities. My hearing was 2 weeks later.
I went into court with all the proof of him constantly text messaging me, sending mail to my home address and the records of police reports I had against him. I went in front of the Judge and told him everything. How he wouldn't take no for an answer and he wouldn't stop contacting me even though I've told him not to. I told the Judge how he sent me mail and how he showed up to my work. I told him how it affected my daily life and how unsafe I felt. I told him that my ex boyfriend was mentally ill (he has schizophrenia) which makes me feel even more unsafe. After I shared my side, the Judge heard his side.
My ex, when asked why he was contacting me, said, "I love her. I went to the library where she works because I thought I would study and be near her at the same time. I a applying to medical school and if I have a restraining order on my record, it would look bad so I ask you not to grant the restraining order." The Judge said "Yes, it would negatively impact you so I will deny the restraining order."
Seriously?
After he said that he went to my workplace to "be near me" and that he "loves me", and when he clearly didn't have any valid argument and admitted to contacting me repeatedly against my will, on what basis did the Judge deny my restraining order? I was crushed.
I went into that courtroom, thinking that as a woman, I will be heard and my voice will be heard and I will get justice but in reality, I didn't get justice and a very unfair ruling was made.
Why is it that my life and my safety were less important? Why was the fact that "it would negatively impact him" a reason to deny me the restraining order? Is my safety less important? What will it take for the Judge to grant me the restraining order and protection that I clearly need? Are they waiting for me to get seriously hurt? Raped? Killed?
Why was it so easy to dismiss my concerns? Is it because I am a woman and to this day, our society still tries to smother our cries of help? Am I wrong to feel that I wasn't taken seriously at the one place that was supposed to protect me and my rights?
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you are right this is what society justice is there is laws to protect women but the authority didnt provide us with what should be supposed to be i can totally understand what you are going through it takes alot of courage to go to court and report your problem you were right and it will give many girl a chance to atleast speak what is going on with them
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