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Okay I bet your expecting id identity theft and some illegal stuff but no this is different, (sorta)
So I have this friend, let call her Anne.
So Anne and I have been friends since elementary school, we've always been quite similar in most ways, we both get good grades, smart, books, are mature for our age and are essentially the mature responsible ones of the school (grade 11)
So anyways, what's always bugged me, is that it feels like she is stealing my identity in a way.
To explain, I make my own jokes and then somehow she steals them, spins them her own way and she gets all the laughs and I get ignored. Then later others Will make reference to said joke, only I'm no longer the one who said it. She is.
So that's really frustrating because it happens all the time. Or I say something funny or amusing, and yet again she takes credit some how.
Then there's her shadow that I feel I live in. We are both smart, but she is smarter than I. She always seems to get higher marks, or understands it faster than I can, which is aggravating .
It probably wouldn't be so bad if the other wouldn't keep mentioning how much of a genius she is, yet I don't do that much worse than her, but no one refers to me that way.
It also bothers me that she try's to say she has the same issues as i, when I really don't think she does.
For instance, I don't have any close friends really, and I can't speak to others very well, when I do, I am very boring (probably cuz I don't have any thing to talk about cuz no interests or hobbies)
She says she struggles with same thing, only to entertain the whole group of people we sit with.
I feel like a wilted flower somtimes, she's better, better grade, she's put together and doesn't stumble or stutter when trying to say something like I do.
I talk fast and nervously and sometimes it can be incoherent but she speaks perfectly in all circumstances .
Then as I'm trying to be more social, saying and doing more things, she steals my spotlight by copying me! Agh.
Ever since grade nine it feels sad if she has stolen my identity and made it her own, taking the best parts for herself and leaving me with the rest.
I'm so done with feeling like nobody and not having a personality . I've tried so hard to get it back but it's been two years and nothing has changed, for the most parts it's gotten worse.
Because now I'm having violent thoughts enter my head.
I just want to be social and confident and smart . I want to be who I was four years ago, but I can't go back... I don't know how...
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Not everyone can be popular, just like not everyone can be a movie star or a model. You want to be more social, get a hobby (any hobby) and find other people with the same interest (you may not find them in school but I bet you'll find them in college), if you want to be more confident then start by having a little more confidence in yourself and your abilities. You're smart, if you want to be surpass your friend in something, then silently strive towards it with full determination. Study harder, more than your friend, and get better grades than her.
And honestly, you're still young, you'll find that the world has a lot of people like your friend, and you sometimes have to accept the fact that "Some people are are just BETTER than you" as you grow older. That's life.
ReplyOh my gosh, I’m so sorry. This is what I’m going through now too! I wish I could go back... so many of my “friends” hate me for who I am , so don’t worry pain ends.
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