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I have accepted that you see me as a friend and chose him for a relationship. You know he is not good for you, but you keep going back.
I am just left with the feeling of rejection which turns into self loathing and wondering what is wrong with me. I know I need to work on myself and move on, but I am in a bad place. I have no one to talk to, no one to comfort me. I just have to keep on going through life and put on a happy face for work and family.
I'm ok most of the time but when I try to go to sleep I get overwhelmed and so angry at myself. I litterally punched myself in the head over and over last night. Today I feel like I got in a fight, bad headache. I am too embarrassed to tell anyone about it.
Why do I do this to myself?
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