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When did you cheek feel so
Cold against my lips?
Like the smoothest marble
And the palest shade of white
Painted underneath a coffin’s polish.
It seems like an age and a day
Since we saw each other,
And ever since your depart
I prayed, begged, splayed myself
With every breathless word
To a god whose ears are deaf.
For your safety, for you health
For your mind,
For you to come back to me
Whole but never the less
I am grateful if you came back
If ever at all.
I hope you remember the last time.
The very last (though we knew not),
Pressed against each other -
Arms scrabbling for a hold -
Desperate, hoping for a second
To be longer than a life time,
Yet to have it dissolve like
Thinly shaved ice;
Freezing, sharp and delicate,
So ready to pierce our hearts
And lodge the loss deep into
Our every waking moment.
I hope you remember
The flag you flew under,
And the ten cent apiece promises
We made.
How honour, your country
Meant a sacrifice more than I was
Prepared to make but you so readily
Payed full in the beginning.
I hope you remember!
Though you cannot see me no
More or hear me,
Or ever grab your arm around my
Neck so that I wrestle you to the
Ground of our fresh mowed lawn.
How green it looked!
Greener than the neighbours
Over the side of our shared
Worn down fence.
“Grass has always been green,
Whether theirs or mine” you’d say,
And I know!
That’s why you did what you did —
So the grass will always be green
Anywhere we go.
Maybe it is all well that you
Do not re-live these moments,
These past lives and hollowed
Out memories.
For in remembering—
The image of you
Becomes a wavering illusion
I desire, with violent desperation
to make corporeal,
Even if it pains me, torments me,
Ends me.
But you have moved.
And that place is greater and further than
I can ever hope to reach with these
Mortals hands.
So I love in each day,
a part of you,
Where as the whole has faded
And now rest where it belongs;
In a bed where peering out threw the windows reflect nothing but night
And the shifting of creatures
Burying into your skin,
Comes closer than I would ever be.
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