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i feel like crying. i wanna cry soooooo bad. my eyes are literally stinging. i mean the unshed tears are doing that but, whatever. i don't get it WHY? WHY? WHY DOES MY MUM WANT ME TO BE SOMEONE WHO I AM NOT WHO I DON'T WANT TO BE? IT DISAPPOINTS ME AND SADDENS ME THE HELL UP TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT WHO SHE WANTS AS A DAUGHTER. I AM NOT WHO SHE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE AS A DAUGHTER. I AM ME. JUST ME. and she doesn't like that. but what can i do? i want to be who i am. i want her to accept me as i am. but she can't and i know i won't ever be the girl she wants to have around the house. i am not like her. and i want to stay as i am. i can't change who i am and neither do i want to. but the way she talks to me, looks at me, it just gets me. the way she so passionately and admiringly talks about other girls we know.
other girls she likes. but me? i adore my mum. and maybe she loves me, but when she does THIS, whatever this is, it just makes me doubt myself. and all her words hit me like a bullet to my heart and a heated metal rod to my brain. knowing that i am such a disappointment in the form of the only daughter my mum has, or will ever have, sucks. she deserves more and someone bright and perfect, but i'm not that. and i don't know what to do about it. what to do with myslef. to myself. i don't know. i just don't know.
- J
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Be who you want to be nit what other claim you to be. Shine bright beutiful. Life ia unfair and its hard everyday. But going on even at your weakest moments prove you are a warrior.
Replythanks. but it's just easier to say than to do!
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