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People meet their family and are rejoiced at being able to spend time with them. But my world is completely upside down, thanks to them!!!
I just don't understand how...how being a parent you can be so disconnected from your child. You have absolutely no clue what emotional state of mind i am in and the best part is you even don't want to know!! (Even when i tell you i am not ok!!)
I see all these friends of mine living such a fulfilling life, so happy to be with their parents, and getting so much encouragement from them. And then there are mine - only open their mouth to criticize!! No talk...absolutely no talk apart from that happens. No general talk , no fun talk...i dont even laugh when i am at home.
And i get so frustrated, so irritated....like what did i do to get such parents!!???
Why cant i also be fun loving and happy like the other kids, i feel like going somewhere and screaming till my lungs hurt.
I tell my Dad that my health tests have come and i am extremely deficient in certain vitamins...the doc has asked me to take doses of meds, spanning over 8 weeks including 6 injections, and he goes, ...Oh all that is nothing, Docs these days just exagerate everything!!
How can they exagerate when my blood reports says so.!! Least bothered to even ask , what is wrong, what is happening, why are your reports so bad!!
My mother is constantly under stress bcoz of Dads behaviour (which is awful towards her too) and has reach the level of mental instability that she loses her temper at the smallest of things and starts yellling and screaming. She is so much under depression that every topic in the world, no matter how general it is, comes back and gets connected to dad!!!
And i am fed up...literally fed up of living life dealing with her anger issues while constantly trying to keep calm because i know why she is the way she is.
I crave for a happy family and am so frustrated and jealous of the life of every friend of mine, including my best friends, and it makes me feel sick every time i feel like that, but i just cannot help it.
She is achieving everything...literally everything in her life which i wanted to achieve and the support she gets from her parents is like, God himself guiding her at every footstep of hers. It makes me go crazy everytime she puts up a picture, of her travels, her outing with her friends or any achievement.
I have started avoiding her completely because i dont want to keep feeling so miserable everytime i see/talk to her.
No matter how hard i try to see the good in my parents and understand why they act and react the way they do, they make it harder for me see something positive in them. Their attitude , especially my fathers, is so ...what can i say...i am literally Ashamed of them. Ashamed!!
In a world where children of awesome and caring parents are abandoning them , and leaving them for good, doing things that could put them to shame, my parents have got me and my brother who are completely opposite and they absolutely dont deserve us!!!
I dont even have the heart to abandon them , just for the sake of my mother. though she is mentally unstable, i Know she loves us and she would be left all alone with a miserable man and an even more miserable life if we abandon her.
I just dont know what to do!!!!!
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Honestly, I don't know what I can do for you but let me tell you this. After reading your post, my heart went out to you. Right now, I'm going to send you lots and lots of love. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
You guys are strong, exceptionally strong. Once you grow up, get a job and move out, but take your mom along with you, if she's willing.
Replyyour mom is also a victim of your dad behavior her she is depresses she needs you more than anything go get a good job study hard move out and take your mother with trust me she needs you more than anything just keep calm and try to make her feel less depresed
and regarding vitamin deficiency its a really serious matter i also have vitamin defiiciency you should get treated and trust me you are strong you can do everything ❤
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