What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
Dear Technological Diary,
I have finally experienced the unnatural phenomenon known as “love”. From being a hopeless romantic since the age of 10, grasping the unfamiliar concept of “Prince Charming” since I started teething, I searched and ransacked through every human, every different soul; blinded by the illusion of a “one true love”.
2018 is the year I finally came to peace with love.
Loving myself.
We all assume that we love ourselves enough when we cherish the oh-so many selfies we take or the once in a while motivational talks we consciously think about. But how about the countless times we get backlashed by backstabbing friends? Pulled down to the ground, close to the roots, the fossil fuels, by the very bullies we encounter. The family standards and complications we have to fulfill. How can we repay so much hatred and burden with love?
The answer is, it’s possible.
You see, I met this guy. We met through a social-networking app, more specifically, a groupchat. We started talking and hit it off almost immediately. But we were just good friends who completed each other’s sentences for more than a year. One day, I got the courage to tell him I liked him more than a friend, and from then, everything went uphill. We would call every day, text every day, spend every moment we could, being millions of miles apart, together. It was almost magical. Almost.
I’ve never been one to be extremely horny (such a weird thing to begin a paragraph with). But since I turned 18, my hormones went out of control. This guy friend, who used to flirt with me in college, and I met up at a mutual friend’s house for a movie. We sat together on the couch, and he told me to put my phone aside so I can concentrate on the movie. I told Dylan that I’d talk to him soon and set my phone aside. Naturally, it escalated from sitting together to laying on top of each other. After the night ended, I could not stop thinking about that “moment” we shared, and to my surprise, he couldn’t either.
I stopped replying to Dylan, I stopped telling him about my day, I stopped acknowledging his goodmorning/goodnight texts. And soon after, we broke up over him blocking me because I had been distant for 3 days.
Everything changed since we broke up. I ended the “friends with benefits” relationship with the guy from college and boy, did I do some soul-searching. I would cry in my bathroom and then automatically smile at the memories Dylan and I shared. I was sad yet happy. I had no clue why I felt this way. Am I going insane?
Weeks passed by, and one day he texted me again. He wanted to clear his conscience by hearing my side and venting out.
Now before I move on, let me tell you a bit about Dylan. A 20 year old born and raised Australian boy, dropped out of high school to fend for himself, has one sister and 3 step-siblings and more importantly, is a Scorpio. For those of you who don’t know, Scorpio’s are usually very reserved about their true feelings and love flirting with every chick. He was exactly that. He had quite a rough past, bullied some kids online because of it, but man, he was a stunning soul. Words cannot do him justice.
We talked for a day and he ended it with “Goodbye, I’ll never forget you”. This line, this phrase created a whirlwind of emotions inside my fragile heart. But I didn’t beat myself over it, you know why? He told me I should love and take care of myself first. He told me he will never stop caring for me and hopes I can make a future for myself. A 20 year old, told me things which changed my life.
I’m so thankful for have meeting you Dylan, you taught me why I should love myself. All the reasons you loved me for me, are the reasons I should love myself. All the mistakes I made with you, are the mistakes I should love myself for doing so; because without them, I wouldn’t be the confident, outspoken woman I am today; whose heart was shattered at the thought of losing you.
Today, I’m loving myself and focusing on where I want to be in the next 10 years and I urge you to do the same. And even if you don’t right now, it doesn’t matter. One day you will. One day, a broken teenage heart will form a mature, independent individual who spits on struggles life throws at you.
That’s because you learned to love yourself. And when you learn to love yourself, a bond, a vow, so tenacious and rich, contextualizes the idea of a “one true love”.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Diary of a Late Bloomer
Dear Technological Diary, I have finally experienced the unnatural phenomenon known as “love”. From being a hopeless romantic since the age of 10, grasping...
-
Hope
I know your happy with someone new I made a wish when the wind blew That someday you'll be back And we will push each others luck I miss your laugh But i...
This is a really touching story, its so true, thank you for this!
Reply