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I am a perpetually awkward person, and it seems that people just opt to avoid me. I don't really know how to feel. I mean, I can have conversations with people, but they tend to be one-liners and forced. On the bright side, I do have people to talk about my problems, but I always know that they wouldn't have me as a first option for theirs. I never really had a best friend that would choose me over other people. What makes this worse would be the fact that I'm not close to my family at all, and I don't think I should talk to them. I know I'm not the only person who feels this way. Heck, I know some people have it worse. But, I just want to ask: "How to have close friends?" I guess I should improve either my skill to understand others, and my skill to be more confident, and most importantly, my scope of interests, but I don't want to change myself too much. Also, I'm tired of being told that "I'll find my group someday." That hasn't really brought anything yet. Lastly, I guess I should also ask: How do I become comfortable in being alone, should I never have any close friends?
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Your assessment sounds pretty accurate - you should work to improve your confidence, your understanding, and your communication.
Why don't you want to change too much? It doesn't seem as if the way you are right now is bringing you much peace or satisfaction . . .
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