What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
I sit in a park, usually my days off consist of myself lazily loitering around the house entailing videos games or Netflix. Why today? Why has it taken me to the age of 20 to step outside and explore? First thought was to choose a path and just walk until I had found some answers, that changed when the anxiety kicked in. Maybe walk to the nearby Mall and just walk, observe people and what they’re doing with their lives, distract myself from my own and focus on theirs? Idk. I’m bored, maybe depressed still don’t know if I’d diagnose myself yet. Found out I had a pretty bad injury in my leg. (disruption of ACL) which has limited the physical activity that I enjoy (Basketball, playing sports etc). Now I’ve gone from my days off to sport wtf.
My thoughts are never consistent, never focus on one thing at a time and some people think that’s a curse? Idk. I can't’ seem to focus on task at hand my health, that’s the no.1 importance rn. What am I writing idk? Who am I writing for? Myself? Idk. Maybe I just need someone to speak to and clear my thoughts or maybe I shall continue to bottle them up? Already a lot of questions and very limited to no answers.
What I want to improve / health, living situation, life's purpose, job aspiration.
Maybe it’s still the youth in my speaking. Maybe I just need to take day at a time, not think about so much and just live, worry about this later? Idk. I stress a lot about work, my relationships and where I’ll be in 6 months. Maybe I just need to find some solitude in something. A new hobby to stimulate my mind, maybe it’s time to find someone to spend a bit of time with, whether it’s a friend or specialist.
Why have i never felt like this? A mini early life crisis? I should be looking forward to my days off yet I just get bored, and lethargic. I can’t help but think about on of my great friends. Wise, beyond his years no doubt. Always wonder what would he do? Maybe need to read some material that he reads to find some answers to my multitude of questions.
You read this, it’s my thoughts in writing, how awesome to find someone’s thoughts straight from their mind. No mind reading just given the key to explore what someone else is feeling, that’s great. Everyone should have that, just access to how others are travelling. Bad? Good? At least an indication.
Maybe I should be more open to the people around me, lose the quick emotional feelings and just focus on life lasting friendship. Tell people what I’m going through but not in an attention seeking way. Just tell them, no questions just answers for them and in return hopefully receive some myself? Idk.
I want indications, what am I supposed to be doing here. I’m not looking for god or guidance. I’m looking for purpose. I’m here, I’m alive, I’m fortunate for a great start to my life, give me indicators as to where to push my energy. In work, family, health, relationships, something I haven’t even thought of? Just something. Until next time, this park bench is very uncomfortable and my patience is thin. Thanks
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Never Have had a friend or relationship in my life, Am I hopeless?
It's really difficult for me to make friends because I was raised in a psychologically abusive home where I was not only overprotected, I was t...
-
Thats Not Me
I'm not some sadass advocate in favor of emos or the poster child for depression I certainly don't secretly wish that I had friends or that my life was better...