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If life is all about perspective, then i need to work on how i see adulthood, cos its not so positive at the moment. i should just google "great things about adulthood" and see if i can make a list of stuff that can remind me that even though it sucks sometimes, there are great things about it. im sure. its just weird because i still feel like kid trying to be an adult and faking it TREMENDOUSLY. but as i read more and watch more vlogbrothers videos, i realise that most adults feel EXACTLY THE SAME as me (they are a kid in an adults body) and almost definitely are faking stuff all the time.
What a shame that we live in a world where when we grow up, we realise that we have to put up a front so we all look like we've got this together, when most of us, if not all of us, really dont.
is this perseverance? is this creativity? is this life? is this reality? is this really the destiny of all?
Damn i really want to go home. and by home i mean my 1 and only home; to God.
No wonder i dont really feel at home anywhere. im just a bipedal animal, roaming, searching, travelling for something that isnt here. i can only see its shadow but cant reach for the thing itself.
until im not here anymore.
but the thing is...we are supposed to keep striving and going towards that...shadow. because one day we will get there. to the mothership. or whatever.
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