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I just gave into hurting myself again...
I wrote to my boyfriend, sending him the letter I originally had in my suicide note/file on my computer...
I will say I am not going to die, but... I just... I just had to give into cutting myself to stop it... to cope with trying to stay alive for everyone...
But fuck I feel awful now, I feel even more ashamed because of the fact I did/had to
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Have I always been so troubled?
Ever since a few years ago (5? 6?), I would feel this weird sensation in the pit of my stomach (or, as I later learned, in the solar plexus). The feeling would...
Hey, I know it sucks. I know from personal experience.
But I want you to do something, not for me but for you. I want you to take what feel about this to heart, as a lesson to reflect on in the future. Hurting yourself is never okay. But that doesn't mean it has to haunt you. If you look for how this experience can help you, you can see motivations to never do it again. Like I did and it saved my life.
I love you and I pray for you to be happy.
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