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Hello! I'm having a bit of an issue and I'd really value some advice/an outside perspective.
So, my mother came home while I was listening to some rainy jazz music out of our Amazon dot-thing. She comes into the living room and promptly turns on the tv, immediately skipping over to Facebook to look at stuff.
A bit of time passes and she asks me what's wrong. I say that she could see that I was listening to music when she came in but she didn't even ask if I would mind her turning on the tv. The response? "Excuse me, do you pay the mortgage?"
And as we talked, it went on:
"This is my house."
"I don't like classical music, so I'm not going to listen to it. You can listen to it when I'm not here, in your room, or with headphones. I'm not going to listen to something I don't like."
"You live here for nothing."
"I shouldn't have to ask to do anything."
It was just a matter of courtesy in my opinion. She doesn't see it that way; as far as she's concerned, I'm just being a dick about her turning the tv on.
I would have brought this issue up to a friend but my mother stopped me.
"Are you bitching to -- about me?"
"You know, it's not very nice to make me look like a jerk to other people."
Am I not allowed to discuss these conflicts we have with other people? Am I just supposed to keep them bottled up?
I tried to reason with my mother but she got very defensive.
Bottom of the line, am I being ridiculous? Is it ridiculous for me, at 18 and still living in my parents' house, to expect some kind of courtesy when it comes to situations like the one I described? Please explain your reasoning.
To those who have read this and given your two cents, thank you.
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yes, it is. ridiculous. totally. no, you shouldn't be discussing private matters with others. yes, it is your mother's house. and since you are an adult living at home, it us just a matter of courtesy not to comprehend about your mother to others and to respect her space including where you listen to music she doesn't like. Additionally since you are an adult, you should be contributing financially to the household.
Reply*complain. I hate autocorrect.
ReplyYou were given three reasonable options to listen to your music once your mother returned home. Your mother doesn't have to ask YOU for permission to watch her TV in her own home. Would you have offered to turn off your music when she came into the room? She's the home-owner and the elder. Grown up children can cramp a parent's style.
ReplyRidiculous? Yep, definitely.Your mother is correct. You should be showing appreciation and courtesy, and this includes not airing your dirty laundry in public. If you find that you are unable to stop discussing private grievances with other people, you should move out of your mother's home and live independently.
ReplyIdk everyone’s being kinda rude here but yeah just turn the music off and move out
Reply