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I think I’m not okay. I try hard, so hard to be happy, to be a good person, a good daughter, a good sister, to enjoy life, because I know life is a gift, and it’s short and I should be enjoying every moment of it.
But I don’t.
Sometimes, I want it to end. I feel it’s too hard, breathing even becomes hard and I want to go away.
I feel like I’m a failure, like I’m not good enough, like every thing I do is not good enough, no matter how much I work for it.
I’m just so sad. Nothing makes me happy anymore. It’s like everything is just dark and black and sad.
I have a beautiful family, I love them so much, but I feel like whitout me it would be so much easier for them, because I am such useless.
I’m not good enough at school, i am the first child, i’m Supposed to be good, do good at school, make my mom and dad proud, but I am such a looser, I don’t know, i’m tired maybe, but sometimes I really want to go far away, sick of pretending i’m fine, i’m not fine.
I struggle with anxiety, I have stupid problems with myself, I hate what I am, what I look like...
I can’t stop thinking about the past, and all the mistakes i’ve made, mistakes I can’t change.
I’m just so tired and sad.
It’s just one of those hard nights
It’s going to be okay.
I hope it will be okay
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it's going to be ok, trust me. one baby step at a time. you are not supposed to be anything but what YOU want to be . expectations from other people dont matter at the end of the day. I discovered that in my 30s. I could have saved me so much worry and grief if I had understand that earlier.
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