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Dear Aaron,
I want to start off by saying that i’m writing this letter for me. You will never read this but I need to say it. You are very manipulative and I’m very naive. You see I thought I knew how to play the game but I don’t. I’m just a girl, a child rather. I’m mature looking and that can be confusing. My body wants things that my mind isn’t ready for yet. You’ve used this to your advantage every chance I’ve given you. You don’t care about my pleasure only your own. You’re a grown man. I never stopped and asked myself why you have so much free time to “see” me. If I’m honest you seem lonely. I want to be with you because I’m lonely as well but we aren’t good for each other. We use each other. You’re very controlling and we aren’t even dating. Why won’t you date me? I often ask myself. But looking in from the outside I understand why. I give you the parts of me you want without you having to do much of anything. I’ve only just finished high school why would you want to be with me? Us being together just doesn’t make sense in my mind no matter how much I think I like you. And every time I think there’s a chance you actually like me beyond our encounters, you do something to make me question everything. You tell me not to be with anyone else but you don’t fill my needs. Yes I’m upset. You made me question myself. Who is this girl? Giving parts of myself a true lover should have. What’s wrong with me? I just want to say I think you’re a bit sick. I think you’re going to be unhappy for a long time if you haven’t been already. You treated me like your property. You tell me I’m beautiful and how pretty I am. I do believe you. You see Aaron, I know I’m beautiful and wanted by many but the thing is I actually liked your company. Despite everything you’ve done and that’s happened I still think you’re a good person. I think that seeing me as an object allows you not to love me. But I want someone who wants to love me. Who doesn’t tell me to “shhh” while I’m speaking. Like who exactly do you think you are? My daddy? That’s what you like me to call you anyway. You know I’m young and you took advantage of that. I think I set my expectations of you too high and that’s my own fault. In fact most of this is my own fault. I didn’t understand things about boys but I do now thanks to you. I don’t hate you but I don’t like you anymore. I don’t like who you’ve made me into. This is why little girls like me shouldn’t go after grown men like you. It’s a very dangerous game and one I could never win. I feel kind of pathetic because I’ve never said any of this to you. How would you know I’m feeling this? But you should know. It’s called common sense. You treat a girl like crap of course she’s going to know. The last time we had an encounter I felt completely sick. I hated you and myself. I realized I was done. So I’m going to go. No more tears left to cry. I’m sick of thinking about this and that’s why I’ve written this. All my feelings. I hope you find a girl and start a family. I hope you have daughters and you will truly understand what you’ve done to me. I hope you find true happiness one day. I know I’m going to go find mine.
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