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Don't show emotion, don't be yourself, always wear a mask and live in a lie, as it is the safest way to live. To hide your entire being, and every single sentient emotion you feel and to never let yourself be exposed to the parasites of society is the way to survive in the cruel, unforgiving world. To be different is to die, to be yourself is to betray your own existence, and to feel is destroying yourself from the inside out. Feeling? Don't feel, conceal, the only thing that should hurt is the feeling of not making friends, not finding love, but knowing that you're still safe from the world is what makes the fact you open your eyes every time you wake up is what numbs your feelings.
To express yourself, to show the tiniest bit of your emotion is how people learn what breaks you down into a vulnerable pile of nothingness, and the moment you shed a tear or release your anger, they jot down every negative thing about you and lock it into their brains, to prey on your emotions like revolting vultures, to feed off your despair and to live off your crushed, defeated life. They will have your tears, your sweat and saliva running down their mouths as they devour your sadness, anger, insecurities and vulnerabilities to fill their bellies of the selfish greed lurking within them.
Out of seven billion people, do you think there isn't someone who isn't like me? And someone not like you? You think there isn't a carbon copy of yourself, if not on this world somewhere in another universe, thinking differently, doing things unlike you, maybe dead, maybe living, maybe living an entirely different life, maybe entirely the same but one thing isn't or is there that was or wasn't there before, forever-multiplying possibilities until the count isn't measured by the numbers our feeble minds comprehend as sensible? You can choose to deny the fact your life is next to meaningless, but it will only stray you further from insanity.
-Nathan H.
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ReplyI feel like hiding too showing nothing no emotions no weak spots in the shell we hide behind but I can tell you I've felt like killing myself for 12 years I only kept going to prevent passing my pain to the people that I loved that loved me and for 9 years I kept it all bottled up hid from humanity to avoid more pain and despair but once I found someone I felt I could trust I took my mask off and they are what motivated me to be different to be weird to seek help so I wouldn't feel so broken and I'm still learning how to talk to people what to say what to show what to ask and yea I'm not going to lie I cringe thinking about all the ammo I've given them all the weak spots I've shown but I know someday (hopefully really soon) I'll get the medications that will help I won't feel like an outsider I won't have to study people to try and act like them so I come acrossed as normal to the world and I know I won't be broken..... I will still be weird and different but that's what makes people like us shine the fact that we aren't some cookie cutter carbon copy of a "normal" person we stand out we don't follow the flow of the crowd we choose oir own path our own destiny and we shape ourselves in the way WE want to be not what everyone else claims to be... Stay weird stay different choose the you that you want to be because at the end of the day you will be your biggest critic not them
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