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This is for my sister Brittany. I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately and I’ve decided to stop keeping everything inside of me. I am posting this for awareness; to help people try and understand that not everyone is as happy as they might seem.
My sister committed suicide on May 10th, 2011. She was 26 years old. Five days later I was the one to write my sister’s obituary at the age of 19. She was sad and no one knew it; not even our own family. One night I was on Facebook and Brittany messaged me, because she was too scared to tell our parents, telling me that she was going to see a therapist because of her recent break up with her (first long-term) boyfriend. I blew it off, told her that she needed to try and see if she could handle it on her own, and if after a few weeks still needed to see someone to tell me. She understood and thanked me.
One night I decided to surprise everyone and visit home. When I arrived, my parents greeted me with a look of concern in their eyes. They got around to telling me that we needed to have a “family meeting.” Brittany was still having trouble coping and started to blame us for trying to help. Long story short, and little did I know, the last words I would ever hear her say to me were “Because I’m mad at you.” At the time, I really know she didn’t mean it. At the time, I know that she was upset and emotional about losing everything she was working on, and for, over the past two years and a half.
I was in my dorm studying for my last exam of Spring semester when my aunt called me frantically telling me not to drive. Those were the only words she said. I then followed up with calls to my mother, father, house phone, and two other relatives before getting ahold of my grandmother. Forty minutes later, in a McDonalds drive-thru, I received a phone call from my aunt Debra telling me that Brittany was pronounced dead at the local hospital. I honestly cannot even begin to describe to you the emotional outpouring of grief I’ve felt at the time.
In so many words I’m trying to tell those out there who have gone through a suicide, or even a death of a loved one, that I know how you feel.
A brother should not have to write his sister’s obituary.
In just a few weeks I’ll be just as old as my sister. I love you Brittany. I miss you more and more every day that passes. It kills me to know that all I have now are shattered memories.
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This hit close to home for me... thank you for sharing this heartwarming story.
ReplyI'm sorry for your loss. I hope she is in a better place now.
ReplyWhen we lose someone we love we almost feel nothing, a little bit lost and empty. I see what you are going through, it must really be hard. I really think your brave posting this out for people to read it and I am inspired. I don’t think I could ever post something like this but I really enjoyed reading it. And I understand that I’m not the only one going through a tough loss.
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