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Ive been cheated once, twice,thrice and so on I lost count. I don't know how did a manage to survive. Emotional torture is hard to survive I had to constantly remind myself to be optimistic everyday. I had to smile despite I am breaking. I had to wake up even if it feels like I'm dying. I tried my best to forgive, I did but why the hell I cannot forget. Is it because the lesson that it taught me or it is because until now I don't know why does he keeps on cheating. Did I lack of something, haven't I done my best, was it really my fault? Have i really lost myself because I continue on loving someone when I myself where broke. Do I really deserve this? Is this my worth? If not then why? why it is so easy for him to close his eyes without thinking about me? I haven't done something wrong but why do I keep on hurting, how come i am stuck in the middle. I can't tell it to anybody I was trying my best to protect him from judgement because there's a part of me that is hoping he will soon regret it. He did, he was sorry, but why? why did he keep on repeating the same mistake that's killing me. Was he really sorry or was it pity that we reminisce or was he blinded my the thoughts that whatever happens I will stay, because I will. Forever I will stay but then why I'm lost, I'm having a hard time finding myself. I asked myself for a hundred times now if I still love him but I cannot find any answers. Whenever I look in the mirror I cannot remember who she is, she has the same face but why the hell her eyes is screaming of pain, her lips is trembling with the thought that she may not be able to smile , I don't know her anymore. Looks like I was busy loving someone that eventually hurt me and forget to value who am really I. Where am I now?
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Hey...i don’t know how it is to be cheated on...for i was the one to cheat on the one i love(d). I don’t know about your bf, but usualy, when we cheat, it’s not you that is the problem, it’s something in us. Something broken inside. While we do believ we love you, we can’t commit fully, and deep down feel that we do not owe that kind of submission to someone. For we show our fidelity in all other things, and love, yet we see that kind of rejection of behavior as submission. Otherwise we woldn’t see someone else and still come back to you. Being sorry? Yes, of course we’re sorry only when we get caught or we have to admit that we did. Funny thing is no cheater will ever stau with a partener who also cheats. It’s...it’s not a mistake, no matter what he tells you, it’s more like a disease. And it cannot be cured unless he admits he has a problem.
But- and here is your biggest problem: he will never ever stop if you keep forgiving him. It will be over and over again untill you lose all self respect for being his doormat, and he will start looking at you the same. As low value, but a something that’s always there.
Girl, dump his ass. That is when he’ll be sorry, that is the trigger that might set his healing and introspection process on. He’s no good to you like this. And for you, this is no love, this is a low self-esteem coping mechanism.
Do u know how my betterhalf made me not wanna cheat anymore? And think twice or trice before i smile at someone? By saying: put yourself in my place. You would’ve left me without blinking for less than a tenth of what you did. I love you with all my heart, but you’re breaking me apart. so pack your things and go. I don’t want to see you again. And then, i realised how fucked up i am and that i don’t want to be that person hurting the one i love all over again. Ao if you leaving him doesn’t break him, he’s not worth one more scond of your time and love. And it also means that you are not the one he needs, not the one to cure him.
You’ll find someone better who will love you the way u deserve to be loved. It will be hard in the beginning, but it’s for the best. Be strong. Leaving him, regardless of his comming around or not, is the only way.
ReplyI dont know who you are, but I wanna thank you for this. I wanna thank you for telling me this. I know I must admit it, it was my fault for forgiving him many times, situation now is different I mean we're married after countless of cheating I agreed on marrying him I may sound so stupid but I just really love him so much that it all boils down to me. I havent seen him cheat after are marriage or maybe I just didnt caught him up. But then lately when I look back why do I feel the pain again. I am so emotional right now, I want to leave, I dont know if I fell out of love, if I get tired or want Iam so confused that i dont know what to do. I want to ask him a space, I want to go where nobody knws me but how? how can I tell him what i want when he doesnt knows how I feel. I cant understand I feel nothing I want to breath I want to leave Im so helpless.
ReplyThe value he sees is the value you see. If you keep forgiving him and act like you’re worth nothing, begging for his atention, or at least part of it, he will see you like that. The girl who is so low-self esteemed that she’s satisfied with the crumbles he gives her, and will be there for him to soack his d!&k in after he’d had his fun with another. He will never be the one to make you happy. He’ll never be sorry for what he did, he’ll just say that to you so he’ll have his backup. And you must not be that. There are lots of good guys out there and one of them will give you the love you deserve. Leave this junkie, the more you swallow his b.s. the more bitter and paranoid you will be in your future relationship
ReplyI appreciate you guys thank you. But things were so complicated, we are married. But these days I keep on dreaming and feeling all the pains, all the burdens everyhting that I've been through next thing I knew I woke up being completely different. I feel nothing and all i want is to disappear.
ReplyIf He does it again and again ...I don't think he consider it as a mistake. You know, the reason for the saddness in the girl eyes who you see in the mirror is you. You are the one who is keeping her away from all the love and respect she might get out in this world.
Girl dump him.He doesn't love you.Get it inside your head. He just sees you as a stupid girl. But he doesn't know, you are not that stupid girl he thinks you are instead you are the strong woman who knows how to take pain and act mature.
I know you know, that giving him chances again and again is wrong.
If you are scared and think you won't get a guy like him in future ...then you should be happy. Who wants a dumbass like him.
Love yourself girl,you are very precious
ReplyI am married to him. I want to leave, i want to disappear but I dont know how? He doesnt know what I feel. This past few days I was on the verge of falling down, I want to be free, i wanted to tell him the love that I have not is the same as I have before. Iam so helpless but I know deep down inside me I cannot hurt him, I really cant as much as I want to leave. Tell me is it just a phase or is it possible to find myself again with him around?
ReplyDoes he still behave the same as he used to before?
ReplyNo, I mean right after marriage I saw him grow up I mean he talks to me like Im his priority now, he changes I know, I havent caught him cheating again or flirt but then lately I feel different, I keep on dreaming about the past and the pains are coming back Im lost, Im reaaly lost I dont know what to do now.
ReplyYou might lack trust in him. It's normal for someone like you who went through all. You know , it's easy to forgive but not to forget.
ReplyTalk to him, if he is changed he will understand.
Does he express his love towards you ?
ReplyTo be honest despite of him cheating on me for so many times, I never feel that he didnt love me. Thats why everytime I caught him I was so shock it was unbelievable because he never failed to show and made me feel loved. But then its me, now I know that the problem is with me, I cannot fine my old self who love him, I feel nothing now, I dont find love, hate in my heart. all I want is to breath and be alone because right now I am asking myself if this is what am i worthy of or did I deserve all of that.
ReplyOf course you don't deserve any of it. Loving someone is not a bad or being selfish. You know you loved him.
Replywhat should I do? Why I cant moved on? Why I am stuck in the past when everybody has their own life now? What am I really looking for?
ReplyYou are not stuck in past ..but in a daydream. Just accept the thruth...
You are not weak. You can get through all. Go out alone have a nice walk, give yourself a treat. Love your own company.
ReplyI forgave them before, I really did. But then you are right its hard to forget, its hard to forget somethings that cause me pain. I cant do something about that its all in my mind now. Things were running on my mind, what if's, despite of's. I dont know I really dont know.
ReplyYou know sometimes it is better to give up on certain things. We’re taught to persevere, no matter what, but sometimes that perseverance — that unwillingness or inability to let go — keeps us from moving forward, from finding happiness, from adapting to the curve balls that life throws our way.
If you know deep within your heart ..you are done..then you are done
Don't end things with him....talk to him and tell him everything. Take a break.
ReplyThank you so much i hope can talk to you more.
ReplyYeah sure..you can😍
Replydo you have email?
Replylostwinter2013@gmail.com
ReplyGirl just leave him. I knw its not easy cause ive been there. Ive been cheated countless time by the same man so i alao wondered if im lacking something. Truth is nope. You’re not lacking something. After i left my ex, im starting to focus on loving myself and i let no man treating me even close to garbage. I found a new man who shares the maturity in a relationship that ive been wanting. No more constantly worrying if you get stab on your back when you’re nit with him. It feels great
ReplyIt's not you
You just happened to be there
It would happen to anyone hes with
There is a guy for you but he's not the one unless you want to deal with that
He has flaws one is emotionally broken
No feeLing to say I'm sorry should add a Lil guilt so
Next time he would learn from his mistakes
Non caring this boy don't give a f.....
Just about himself
Reply