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i have a low self confidence.
i have a job now but i do it along with classes at night.
while at job i get harrassed via verbally. using a traditional language that they thought i didn't understand.
even if i don't i can understand if they are harrrassing me.
everyday i play a fool and look away.
sometimes i forgot how to smile.
everyday i felt like dying.
when i was behaving rude on my lecturer which i dont think i mean to be rude, he decided to be way more stricter and doesn't want to help my class about our last assignment.
after that day, i'm scared of talking. of speaking.
since then i can't speak normally or as i used to be.
ever since then, i know my existence means nothing.
everyday, i kept thinking about how i should die.
about how i want to die.
about how do i do it.
i'm... sad
i'm weak. and worthless. shouldn't live in this world.
people don't need me. and i can't make anyone happy.
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Hi there! What do you need most? I'll be back to talk :)
ReplyPlease try not be so hard on yourself:) I know this feelings too, they are horrible. I know it may sound wrong, but I'm brazilian and we have a thing called 'Fuck it' theraphy: it consists of trying not to worry too much about the other peoples opinions, I know it's not easy, but it's necessary. Sometimes we may feel worthless (and its horrible) because we think (wrongly) that our value comes from how the others treat us, how the others think of us, and we internalize it, we start to believe that we don't deserve nothing better...but WE DO! Believe me: you deserve to be happy, loved, respected! Be the first one to do it for yourself (I know that sometimes we seem not to find the strength to do it, but you need to try! Try your best;) And try to mentally say fuck it to these feelings (and those people) and stand for yourself! NEVER FORGET: YOU are a Work of Art of nature! YOU are unique! YOU are so special that there's only one YOU in the entire universe:) Keep it in mind always!!
I hope I made sense, because english is not my first language, and my main hope is that you realize you do not deserve to feel so bad. I hope you feel a lot better soon:) and NEVER give up yourself!
C.
Replythank you so much for spending your time to reply to me.
i usually talk about this to someone but, i'm starting to feel that was wrong. so i went here. thanks again :)
ReplyI feel the same way. I can feel this to the soul. :/
ReplyYou'll make someone happy in time for now you should set your focus on classes and making yourself happy I know it's not an easy task to accomplish I'm still trying to accomplish it myself but you aren't worthless everyone has a value don't let the hard times keep you down!
Replythank you for your reply. it won't be easy but i'll try. i like reading mangas(comic) and reading web novel nowadays. i think it's the only thing that kept me afloat right now.
ReplyThat's good keep it up
Reply