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I’ve never considered suicide before. I’m still not counting it as an option now. But lately I keep wondering when things will get easier, if at all. Is life worth it if I feel a gaping hole in my life. I feel alone. I feel theres a void that needs feeling, and no matter what I do to distract myself- work, school, friends, boyfriends (that don’t last long), nothing ever truly fills it. Maybe it’s psychological. I need to fill the void myself by changing my outlook. It can’t be filled by other people, or tangible things. I can try to fill the hole with positive thoughts, and working toward something greater. But I always end up back here. Why is it so difficult for me? Why can’t I acknowledge these thoughts and move on from them? Why does wondering what might happen if I end it all even occur in my mind? I don’t think that I need a friend. I’m sure that I need a therapist. I need to work toward filling my hole. Despite everything, I still have hope that life will get better. That the shadow looming over me will go away, and my days will feel brighter and less heavy
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